my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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