At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize