When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize