break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize