He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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