I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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