Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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