i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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