we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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