I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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