Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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