How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize