exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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