and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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