she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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