If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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