I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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