Your face is a jimmy john
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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