I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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