Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize