love makes seman taste better
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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