is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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