I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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