so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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