god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize