I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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