Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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