According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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