lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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