Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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