She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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