i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We got so high we made milksteak
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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