is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
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Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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