is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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