She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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