I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
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He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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