I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
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