i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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