I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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