we're making bets on your personal life
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize