Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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