Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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