I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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