Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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