We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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