you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
being pregnant is like rehab
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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