sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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