During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
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