i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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