So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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